The Darling Bibilophile is Relocating!

While I have considered scrapping this half-assed attempt at a blog and totally rebranding myself, I think first I will start even bigger – by physically relocating. What?! No more Darling Bibliophile on the Main Line? Nope.

As friends, family, and most of my readers know, I recently graduated with an MA in Publishing from Rosemont College. Five years ago, when I was hospitalized with graduationAnti-NMDA Receptor Encephalitis, completing my undergraduate degree didn’t even seem to be a possibility. I can’t help but feel an immense sense of accomplishment at having proven so many doctors wrong. Upon graduation, I was fortunate enough to receive a few wonderful opportunities for employment, and I decided to take the one that would bring me the biggest change. It is time to leave Bryn Mawr, the apartment I love so much,ย  my wonderful job as a bookseller at an independent bookstore, and from the fantastic, hilarious, courageous, and ambitious group of friends I have made during my time here (although, naturally we will still be in touch). I have accepted a position as a technical writer with a pharmaceutical company in the Poconos, which I will be starting next week. I plan to continue expanding my freelance editorial business and writing my memoir. For the meantime, I will be relocating to my parents’ house in Northeastern Pennsylvania while I search for a place closer to my new career, and I am overwhelmed with anticipation of what this new opportunity will bring me.

Some Thoughts on Positivity

PositivityFscott is a choice. When I decided to make the conscious shift from a negative mindset to a positive one, it wasn’t easy. Honestly, it’s still difficult, but I’ll get to that later. I have survived a lot in my life – elementary school bullying, battling anxiety & depression, break-ups, losing best friends, and a living nightmare. Those events did not make me a better person, as a coming-of-age novel might lead you to believe. Instead, I was focused inward and very negative. I never felt good enough, and while my friends weren’t bad people, they certainly weren’t the type who were going to lift me up and focus me in the right direction.

You are in no way obligated to be the same person you were five minutes ago.

My shift to positivity was not as sudden as it seemed, but as I was blessed with new opportunities of graduate school, independence, and reconnecting with my soulmate, I took this perfect opportunity to make a change. Some people noticed this shift immediately and called me fake because I was trying to put out the light and love that I was experiencing inwardly. These people were quickly removed from my life, not that they had really been around much anyway – and as a recent authority on happiness commands, “if it doesn’t bring you joy, get rid of it.” I think it’s important to remember that you are in no way obligated to be the same person you were five minutes ago. The happier I was, the better I felt. The less negativity there was in my life, the more self-esteem I could muster up each day. I found peace practicing yoga. And because I had changed my mindset, the opportunities continued to come my way. I became friends with a group of smart, supportive, hilarious women who have real, tangible goals that they are working every day to achieve. I got a job – now, two – in an industry I love. I discovered a path to sharing my story with the world and finally have the confidence to hike up that path. Petty comments and remarks intended to hurt me simply fall away, because I know that they come from a damaged place inside someone else.

As I mentioned before, it isn’t always easy. In her book Spirit Junkie (which I highly recommend), Gabby Bernstein talks about how the ego likes to creep up on you just when you think life is smooth sailing. That’s a simple reminder not to let your guard down, or really, to remember to be grateful for all the miracles you’re given. Sometimes I’ll have a day where everything seems wrong, and I just want to complain to my friends about every little detail. That’s not where my focus needs to be, and often more time passes dwelling on the bad than should before I remember to let go and move on. I deal with these self-inflicted ego attacks daily, and I’m okay with it, because I’m still learning.

There is another thing that makes staying positive difficult, though. When other people see that you’re happy, they try to shatter that high, whether out of insecurity, jealousy, or spite. Because I am still new to this process of letting go of negative thoughts and embracing positivity, these attacks can shake up my world a bit. And because I’m an empath, I often sense negative energy, to the point where my hands will shake or I will feel very cold. I don’t see this as a weakness; rather, these are challenges that build up my strength brick by brick. I am more secure now than I have ever been.

Whether you are following the Buddhist laws of karma, Jesus’ golden rule, or Newton’s third law, the end result is the same. Let the vibrations you put out into the world be ones of radiance. Stay positive.